Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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