It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
