Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
