What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
