omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
