you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So much rum. So many feels.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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