you traded sex for a burrito?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Acid is not a monday night drug
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Drunk is a universal language darling
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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