some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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