Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
