Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
