You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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