Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
