i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize