nut hugger
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize