i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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