it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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