are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
