I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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