Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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