I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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