I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
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