Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
