The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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