bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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