she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
