its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
