you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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