If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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