WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I love you.
Bad choice
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
