Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
