Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
this hospital has no fireball
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
