I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
