Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
