last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A+ Viking dick
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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