You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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