I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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