considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
