i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
