Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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