i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
