the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
