He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
