I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
only if we run a train.
done.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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