I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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