im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
