He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
