I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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