just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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