I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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