it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
