Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
