great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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