i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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