we're chasing vodka with high fives
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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