If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
