tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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