I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize