he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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