I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
