she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
