Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
