I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
