I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
