smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize