it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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