Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
