I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
