Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
