About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
