Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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