you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
