So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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